How Are You? Lessons from an Interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle

Earlier this week an interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry was aired on television. Admittedly, I have never been particularly interested in the life of the Royals. But as the interview was playing in the next room while I was making school lunches in the kitchen, there were two moments that really stood out to me as bringing light to the struggles that we all face, regardless of our royal status (or lack thereof for the majority of us). 

First, the interviewer Tom Bradby spoke to Prince Harry about his own struggles and the time that he took off work to take care of himself. Although Mr. Bradby does not speak directly about his concerns, a quick google search reveals that he took a five month leave of absence from his job to address insomnia and difficulties coping with the death of his parents. Now I don’t know if this was a journalistic tactic to get Prince Harry to open up about his struggles, but regardless, I appreciated Mr. Bradby’s acknowledging his own difficulties in front of what he knew would be millions of viewers. Obviously, Mr. Bradby’s struggles were not the focus of the interview, but I applaud his vulnerability and normalization of what is often dealt with behind closed doors and in therapy offices much like my own. The more we see moments like these, the more we all realize how our own suffering is not so abnormal after all. 

Secondly, Mr. Bradby addresses how difficult things must be for Meghan Markle, not just as a new mom but also because she is under intense scrutiny from the media. I thought Meghan’s response was incredibly humanizing and real. It was clear from the pause, sigh and tears in her eyes, that she is tired and working hard to keep it together. Naturally, I value her openness in the same way that I value Mr. Bradby’s comments about his struggles.  However, what came next was what surprised me the most. Meghan thanked Mr. Bradby for genuinely asking her how she was doing, noting that not many people ask her that question. This. This was everything. 

Perhaps it is because I just finished the book Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, PhD and had the pleasure of hearing him speak. He talked about the importance of providing ourselves and our children with a blueprint for understanding and talking about our emotions to improve our mental health and overall well-being. Or perhaps it’s because I see children, young adults, and adults struggle to know how to talk about what they are feeling on a daily basis. But I loved Mr. Bradby’s question and Meghan’s gratitude for the question even more. 

The takeaways? If you are struggling, you are not alone. Share your problems with whomever you trust in your life. If the statistics are accurate on the prevalence of mental health issues, then it is likely that they will not only empathize, but will understand first hand from their own experiences or from caring for someone in their lives with mental health concerns. Second, ask people how they are doing. Like, really ask. Look them in the eye so that they know that you want to hear the REAL answer as opposed to the standard “Oh, I’m fine.” And when you are asked how you are doing, pull a Meghan Markle. Pause, take a breath and then answer with authenticity.