These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

If your inbox is anything like mine lately, it is full of all kinds of “must-buys” for the upcoming holidays. Now, I am not an influencer by any stretch of the imagination, but I do want to share with you some of my favorite things. And by things, I am referring to things that have been working well in my house lately. So as the song goes, here are a few of my favorite things:

1. Family Breakfasts
   We’ve probably all heard the statistics about how having regular family dinners can foster happy, well-adjusted kids. Sounds great…until you factor in all the moving parts of after-school activities, sports practices/games, and work. Lately, it seems almost impossible to have family dinners. So instead, we have focused on family breakfasts. Now this too has its challenges and logistically can’t happen every day. But for us, it is more likely to happen than dinners.
   
   
2. Values
   We’ve been spending time talking about what is important to each of us. Not actual achievements or goals but rather things like friendship, connection, integrity, health, and compassion. Why do we do this? Well, mainly because I see a lot of students in my office who are feeling really lost, anxious, and depressed. I have found that when we can identify what is important to us and behave in a way that aligns with our values, we have a tendency to feel more grounded and whole. So I have gotten in the habit of talking about values at home.
   
   
3. Connection
   I have made an effort to connect more frequently with friends who are also parents. Sometimes it just feels like we are doing this parenting thing on an island, which can get pretty lonely. It has been really comforting to spend time with other parents who can relate to our experiences. This can be done in person, over the phone, via FaceTime, or even through an online community. It has been tough to find time to do this, especially at this busy time of the year, but I am always glad when I do.
   
   
4. How We Feel App
   If you are familiar with Dr. Mark Brackett’s book Permission to Feel, you know of his RULER system to teach emotional intelligence. Well, Dr. Brackett has teamed up with several others to create a free app that is a journal for your well-being. The goal is to learn precise words to describe how you feel, spot trends and patterns, and practice simple strategies to regulate your emotions in healthy ways. I’ve been using it for a few weeks and really like it. I am thinking about how to introduce this to my family because I am a big believer in developing a language around identifying, labeling, and managing our emotions.
   
   
5. Honesty
   One of the things I am constantly reminding my clients of is that good mental health does not mean feeling good all of the time. Rather it means having the right feelings at the right time. So if you are in the midst of finals week, it would be expected that you might feel stressed, anxious, and rundown. That does not mean you are mentally unwell. There seems to be a commercialized sense of well-being that is seeping into the lives of our kids where they believe they should feel good, always. For that reason, I am being very intentional about talking in front of my kids about when things are hard for me. Of course, it has to be done in an age-appropriate way, but I let them know when something hasn’t gone my way, how it makes me feel, and how I manage it.

So there you have it. I’d love to know if you have stumbled across some of your own favorites. If so, hit reply and let me know!